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June 29 Monsoon Season in New Mexico I watched the ravens last night swirling in the winds before the rain storm came The doves and sparrows flitted around, unworried. They tell us if something horrible is coming, if they stick around, you know it's ok. Feeling the damp humid air along with cool air swirled and drifted I sat outside watching the clouds and feeling the wind behind my legs Randy came to the door like Auntie Em and asked me to come in. I had recollections of the storm in Lampasas Tx and somehow feel so grateful each time I see strong clouds. Dark, fierce and changing. Splendid is the cool warm breezes that fly through this basin The mountains and the sands June 20 LSSD The Lone Star Sun Dance was one of the most profound and amazing things that I have ever been to. I want it to be in my life always. It has changed the way I look at my life here in Alamogordo. My family, husband and our space in Maine. My bitterness and anger has lifted from my spirit. Sigh, I am happy. How amazing?! Offering tobacco each morning and praying and giving thanks. All my relations.....blessings and beyond. Here are some of the things that I experienced: Hot blazing Sun New friends Deeper friendships with those that I came with Cedar Camp Chiggers and Fire Weed Fire watch from midnight to 3am and function on low sleep The Storm Between two worlds.....holding on to an elder woman and my daughter, I in the middle The drums still playing in my head Pounding my feet to the ground to the beat The TREE, glorious and amazing Witnessing amazing things witnessing Buffalo Skulls swinging and dragging Witnessing breaking from the tree by many people Mystery Circle Fry bread and sausage Beautiful people Love and Respect April 04 Yoga Yoga is a journey Meditation City and Town noise Filtering out the madness Deep inside Shifting and moving Reflections and self awareness. January 08 Platypus dreamA friend came to visit, it was a man
He had a Platypus with him
It had feathers like that of a mallard duck
green and shinny
It wanted to hold my hand, but it liked to
swallow my hand into its belly
My elow down was in its belly
It was comfortable and warm
It was a nice feeling. There was no digesting, just holding gently.
There was also a long paper snake, just laying there, not alive
Also the number 16
and then the words spoke to me
"Let's get started!" January 04 Dreams Another dream I had. I was on the Rez, welcomed and working. There was always a tribal guy behind a desk, friendly. As I was retrieving something from a room, there was saw dust all in it. A mouse ran into it and there was a buzzard perched there. A mouse represents family and the saw dust represents preservation. The buzzard....doesn't kill, but rather cleans the dead. I must preserve my family- people ( I mostly think of Maine), the buzzard was a warning? December 21 Had a dream about Chief Hull Had a dream about Chief Micheal Hull. Strangely enough it was about food-safety? I met him for the first time in this dream last night. I shook his hand and did my habitual bow. He said I do not need to bow. We proceeded to a table with another fellow and a distant figure of a woman, light haired and a bit heavy. Papers and studying, reading and a test would follow. He drove off in a little sports car, rather silver-ish gray and the other fellow drove off in a pick up truck. Tomorrow the rest of the studying and test would commence. Amazing. Thank you for this dream. Taking a breathChristmas Lights Wrapping paper Tape and ribbon Consumerism. Buying in small doses. Making gifts in the workshop. Xmas parties at friends and work places. Working 30 hour full time position in Nutrition Working part time at the fitness center Finding time to breathe Becky and I went to the White Sands yesterday We went our separate ways to: Walk in the sun Meditate Think Soak in the open space Breathe and enjoy, shifting the energy. Breathe in gratefulness. December 14 The Full Moon of December 2008 Rebecca and I went to a music circle at CAPPED in Alamogordo. The circle was interesting and playful Movement of sound evolved We did a couple of segments of only crystal singing bowls. One in line with the Chakras and the other was random. Both were wonderful. December 07 a beautiful quote Run like hell my dear from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings. -- Hafiz November 28 Black FridayThis was posted on Liz Thomas's blog this morning: http://herstoriesareboringandstuff.blogspot.com/2008/11/walton-ford.html "My heart returns to me what I turn away. I am my own master but not always master of myself. In the fossil record of our existence, there is no trace of love. You cannot find it held in the earth’s crust, waiting to be discovered. The long bones of our ancestors show nothing of their hearts. Their last meal is sometimes preserved in peat or in ice, but their thoughts and feelings are gone. Where did love begin? What human being looked at another and saw in their face the forests and the sea? Was there a day, exhausted and weary, dragging home food, arms cut and scarred, that you saw yellow flowers and, not knowing what you did, picked them because I love you?" November 26 Thanksgiving 2008 Today is the day for creativity. Sitting and praying along with the candle light. Quiet and self-reflective. Gessa a canvas today, create a faux light fire ring and make some lavender fire starters for the fire pit. Sunny and cloudy, autumn for southern NM, simplistic and enjoying my time off from work. Getting ready to braid Becky's hair, then off to hunt at Thrift stores. Clarity is my prayer, consistency and grounded. Manifest prosperity and abundance. October 13 There are many stops along the wayIt has been a long time since I have written anything.
This stop, here in Alamogordo is an interesting one.
This house has no real feeling to it. I feel no connection.
It is mearly a time and place to readjust and shed things.
People are worried.
Each of us are preparing in our own way.
My brother has bought 50 lbs of potatoes, he lives in Maine,
he and his partner, have canned and frozen lots of food from
their garden. An old neighbor is hunkering down on the river
with his old Grange Hall memories and taking stock.
The Wal-Mart cashier bought a bunch of ammo.
Home Safe sales have gone up 70%.
Think like an Appalacian Trail hiker, light, easy, quick and yet...
healthy. Keep it light, carry a compass, know your ground, have
a means of fire ready! carry a military can opener, have good shoes
for foot travel and dress in layers. Toilet paper and water.Learn to make
a mini stove from a tin can. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfy2iw5kTA4
We want to get out of town. Living in town on top of one another
is so silly. No privacy, too many stink pipes, noise, barking dogs
and garbage.
I just got back from Golden and Denver, Colorado.
Survived a 7.8 mile hike with 3 young adults, enjoyed fabulous
food from the WaterCourse and hugged my two girls that are
women now. They will always be little girls even though
they are women.
Eric is an amazing talented man with skills that are
a back-country girls dream! He is a crazy tattoo artist also.
I went to the White Sands yesterday, the wind was whipping
all around me, especially when I got up on a high dune.
As I did Sun Salutation...it was so amazing to feel the stinging
of sand on my body, it was cleansing me and refocusing me.
The times they are a changin' ( Bod Dylan)
June 18 HeAliNGHealing comes and goes
From the top of feeling to the tip of my woes.
Prayer in the flickering candle light
sometimes in morning and sometimes at night.......
Learning all the time, tired and happy
Missing the ones that have gone.
Embracing positivity, star-light and appreciation
for the small things. Little gifts that grow into big ones.
Breakfast burritos and invitations to circles.
Living in a 50's hood
Learning to love, creating healthy boundries from those who crave drama.
Patchouli smells like abundance and prosperity.
Lovely prayers.
Squeezing the tears away, holding on to my heart.
Worried about my loved ones.
Leaving guilt to the rivers.
Loving myself more each day.
105 degrees, rasing my glass of ice tea to the sun.
This could be it, give love and love comes back.
Commanding the Universe.
My suffering is over. The lines in my palm, fork
and spider over to a thick line that will last to the end.
I don't want to die like she did.
Suffering, stroke and starving.
Toss me to the wind, and just let me fall asleep in the arms
of myself. Scared and tender, take me quickly.
Un-intentional ways of communication
Scuffy and Sensational, I thought I was all set.
Taking it all way made me think.
Angry sure, slowly embracing....
yet wondering why? why all the suffering?
If I were to be born again, I would not be human.
I would be a wild dog or a wolf.
Instinct rules. No reasoning. Just family and living in the moment.
Quiet now. Just listening. Commaning in the quiet.
Love Abundance Prayer prosperity Silence lovely lonliness Fire of heart.
January 21 Governor Baldacci of Maine visits Mom!Mommy I will miss you!This trip to Maine to care for my Mom until she passed was one of the deepest
and powerful events I have ever done. All three of us, Mike-Steve and I were
with her when she took her last breath. Mom was loved by the town of Dexter.
I still want to call her and share stuff with her, channeling that to another source
will be challenging. ALS is a disease that swallows people whole. Her death was
a powerful and painful one. I am unable to share all of my feelings because they
are a collage of deep sadness, anger and lonliness, along with relief that she
does not have to suffer anymore. St. Joseph's Home Health and HOSPICE
was like a gentle hand from the Universe guiding, loving and listening.
Processing the death of Mom will be a long and quiet one.
December 16 Vegan Cranberry-Appely Holiday Bread
Vegan Cranberry-Appley Holiday Bread 2007 ¾ cup apple juice/cider ¼ sour apple Shnapps 1 teaspoon Braggs apple cider vinegar 1 cup raw sugar 2 ounces of firm Tofu, blended until smooth ¼ cup of light olive oil 1 cup chopped fresh cranberries 1/2 cup chopped pecans 1 cup whole wheat flour 1 cup of unbleached white flour 1/2 teaspoon New Zealand sea salt 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon cayenne powder 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
In a large bowl combine chopped cranberries and walnuts. Stir in sugar, apple juice, apple shnapps and apple cider; let sit while preparing other ingredients.
In another large bowl, combine ALL the DRY ingredients, whisk or sift. Blend tofu and oil to cranberry mixture. Mix the wet and dry ingredients. Folding them together. Mix until just blended. Too much stirring will create a dense/ hard bread. Pour into a loaf pan line with parchment paper. Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 1 hour and 15 minutes. Each oven and elevation is different. Check your bread after 45 minutes. Let cool until warm. Wrap in paper. This recipe will also make a good cake or cupcakes. Lots of Christmas love , Moogie December 09 More wonderful things to comeAnother wonderful day in New Mexico
Packing to go to Maine
Packing to Move.
In the process of buying a wonderful little house close by
and purchasing a nice little piece of prop in Maine.
Weeding out the negetive things and people in my life.
Growing and focusing on the future of good and amazing things that are yet to be.
Embracing my job at NMSUCE, shifts and changes.
Most of all preparing for the joy of taking care of my Mom again, but for a longer time.
I love my Mom and she was and is still is a pillar of strength for my heart.
My Mom. My brothers and my wonderful Family, together.
December 02 A new year is approaching, a new adventureA new year is approaching
A new ADVENTURE awaits.
Today is the day to dig in
search
plan
seek and give CPR to the things I love.
A new seasonal position ( 2 actually ), await.
One in Maine and one in NM.
Many healty changes are coming.
November 23 The Day After ThanksgivingThe Day After Thanksgiving
Residue of cranberries stuck to the sink
Memories of loved ones, in Heaven and on Earth
Smile-ing while sifting through the fridge
Sweet potato recipe ( from Paula Dean) ya'll
New England Cranberry Sauce and Stuffing ( my own )
Sigh.
How Sweet it all is.
Prayer's for the far away ones doesn't go unfelt~
The fire of the past blazes in the heart.
Good feelings in the belly, not just from food~
But, from remembering, smiling
from all the hard journeys and roads.
The lines on my face and the gray streak of madness
are weapons of wisdom.
Breathing in the Desert air
giving Thank's
for the precious anger that has evolved into peace
the,foundation of myself.
The precious joys of past laughter, pots&pans and blue pineapples.
Combing children's hair, fitting tights and shining shoes,
Feathers and cornmeal, drums and shivering cold,
belly up to the table young one
Carry this on, giving thank's in all
the Marvelous ways you have learned it.
From Coast to Coast.
Give Cheer, Salud!
November 19 Showing the StudioShowing the Studio has been fun and amaze-ing.
Meeting different people.
Craig's List is fabulous.
The full moon is coming. Howl at the stars with Thanksgiving. |
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